how disappointing. I feel like throwing up and crying and crawling into a hole. stop walking all over my heart and my godawful feelings.
you kissed me on the forehead while we were watching the movie. I leaned over to put my head on your shoulder, it was a scary movie, I wanted to have a quick getaway plan for my eyes. and you leaned your head on top of mine and ever so lightly, I’m not even sure if I was supposed to feel it, kissed me on the top of my head. and boy let me tell you, I felt it all the way to my toes. you make me feel on fire, with even the simplest of touches.
your friend bryce is right, there IS something between us. stop being a jackass. I see you, you’re trying to work things out, trying to see if I could really change.
I miss you most when I’m drunk. I miss your kisses and holding your hand and falling asleep next to you and fucking you every night and I miss your arms and your back and your lips and your hard thrusts and how we fit together. I miss forehead kisses and I miss your back rubs. I miss you, I miss waking up next to you and I miss pleasing you and being around you. I miss loving on you and I miss you taking care of me. come back to me soon, please.
lose my game plan
possibly says yes
get back together
get my best friend back
moving on, no matter the answer
oh my god that was not a good idea but oh my god have I missed that sex holy shit.
oh my god not this again please dear god not again.
I literally hate my fucking family I’m trying to go out and y’all are taking your sweet ass fucking time. and my sisters a dumb little cunt I can’t even.
I can’t tell if it’s working or if you’re just as stubborn as I am.
but I love you nevertheless, and all you do is hurt me. you’ve got a lot of changing to do, and if you ever think we’re getting back together, which I can’t tell if you do or not, you need to make those changes.
I used to think I loved you because I needed you, but it’s the other way around.
this is such a mess.
oh so you’re tryin to fuck around with Kelli? like that’s cool too lol fuck you man. I hope this either isn’t true or that I get the chance to fuck your mind up.
you broke, you called me today. you invited me to this concert thing on sunday, why the fuck? you say you don’t want to confuse me or mislead me, you just want someone to go with you. but you want me to come to a bar with you? like seriously? we all know i’m gunna get fucked up at this concert. and then what? i get drunk all fucking day and then go back to your house, argue with you for a little bit, then either we have drunk, angry sex or drunk make up sex. and then what? you pat me on my shoulder and tell me that was a mistake, but you still care about me and we’re still best friends?
or do we trick ourselves into getting back together? you’ll end up feeling trapped, like i cornered you into having sex with me, thus getting back with me. that’ll fuck up my plan. because my plan is flawless, you just have to be into me like Carley and I think you are. because if we do end up back together, i want things to be on MY terms. i’m tired of your little boy antics. i want you to step up and be the man that I know you fucking are. -___-
or i could just not go on sunday. i can keep telling you maybe maybe maybe until that morning and then just say no. or i could just tell you no tomorrow. or just not hit you up at all. but i want to go so goddamn bad. but i don’t want things to go the way everyone thinks they will. if i go, i wanna get drunk, flirt with whomever i wish. and make you jealous. make you squirm even fucking more. because tonight went just as planned. you fucking acted stupid as shit, talking about “are you talking to anybody now?” like bitch the fuck you think i am? -___- ugh you kill me jsfkghjkdsfhgkjsdhg